Hash #445, Friday, March 25th, 7PM

Full Moon #93

Hares: Chocolate Box and Cums Without a Box

Ok so I'm unretiring a bit to contribute this bit o' Hash Trash....a little help on getting the attendence list right?

I think it was Pinch, Soggy Box, Too, Chocolate Box, CWAB, Short Hairs, Dick Long, Wind Tunnel So I rolled out to my former neighboorhood to catch the Full Moon Hash. Of course the overly ambitious Hares cut my Pre-Lewd off at the knees by already circling up at 7:30 (whats' up with that?). Darn, 'cause I was looking forward to having a beer at a bar that looks like my grandma's house (to be remedied later).

After a quick circle up (no virgins) we started off for what was a nondescript trail through suburbia. A few checks, but nothing wicked, as is appropriate for a nighttime hash. After a mile or so we were being led to a bright neon sign in the distance....what did it say? The Crazy Horse? What kind of bar could that be? I, having lived in the area for almost a year, strangely had NO IDEA what everyone was talking about, but the men in the group were very excited about possibly hitting that bar, maybe the beer was REALLY good.

(Un?)fortunately our first beer stop turned out to be a WingDingy thingy type place where the riff raff (us) were quickly shuffeled into the basement of my old fraternity house. A gimongously big beer greeted the hashers and kick started a conversation. As I remembered fondly the wipeouts that the headscarfed amish girls (havent seen anything that funny in a long time) and regaling everyone with my tales of saving the Amish, I was accused of having a unnatural affection for the Amish in general. Of course Free Semen and I agreed that there was a decided lack of good Amish porn out there, and discussed business possibilities in this niche market. Luckily this awkward conversation was diverted to the much safer topic of horse masturbation (again Free Semen said he had first 'hand' knowledge)

Hitting the trail again we passed a bit more Amerisprawl before heading back to Sully's or Zippys or grandma's or whatever the fug it was. We happened to hit the bar the same night as a birthday party - more on that later - featuring a very smiley birthday girl. As we got our initial beers and food, Blown Opportunity must have felt inspired by my culinary expertise and decided to invent a new dish on the spot, called Beer Soaked Pizza, which we agreed was delicious. The circle featured a bonfire ('More Wood......More Wood.....More Wood...More Wood') a quiet Free Semen, a lot of down downs by the hares, and some jackass who kept inventing reasons to get in the circle for a down down, wearing his hat ON PURPOSE! I hate grandstanders like that.

Speaking of show offs..... We roped the Birthday girl into coming out to the bonfire (oh yeah it was out in Grandma's back yard) for an allouette. Usually this is a rather embarassing song for the girl, but our girl had about one drink for every year of her life, and um....she wasn't just 21. So instead of a shy blushing beer wench, like the Cross Cuntry Ski Hash, we had a(nother) flashing crazy lady who wanted to hump Pinch.

Just another day at the hash......

J.C.