We gathered in a parking lot across the street from Moes', because Moe's opens up when they damn well feel like it and not a minute sooner. Anyway, it was a warm bright sunny day, and the hare's had beer! It was a great day to be outside in Cleveland. It was not a great day to be in New Orleans, about 6 days after Hurricane Katrina and the subsequent flooding of 80% of the town. We wished all the best for all the New Orleans hashers, former CH4 hashers Releash Me, Tighty Whitey, H.I.R. Nigel (dog), and H.I.R. Selma (dog), and Killer Byte's parents who were all evacuated from New Orleans but lost most everything. Coast Guardsman Tighty Whitey voluntarily transferred to N.O. this summer, and is working on the evacuation and recovery efforts. The hare's conducted a spirited chalk talk. The words "three beer stops" were especially well received. They also told us that this day there would be some special marks: "!" would mean "look at this" and a "?" would mean "find your own way in". After introductions and a group photo we were on-on. The first mark was hard to find, but very shortly thereafter the six F-16's of the Air Force Thunderbirds' Air Demonstration Team streaked overhead in a side-by-side formation very low directly above us. Immediately they split up into two solo planes and a group of four and seemed to be constantly streaking loudly over our heads. They continued this awesome tribute to CH4 with theirfamous precision maneuvers. We burst through some scrubby urban forest and soon reached the first beer stop on a hillside overlooking the lakefront airport. This allowed the T-birds to fly for the hashers AND a crowd that was incidentally gathered at the airport. Its been several years since CH4 has been honored by an official military air demonstration team! Kudos to CQ and BB! When our air show was over, we were on-on again. We were challenged by scrubby urban forest, several train track crossings, a chain-link fence, a pesky freeway on-ramp, and some desolate industrial wasteland. Just in the nick of time we reached beer stop #2 at the Union Club Tavern on St.Clair Avenue at East 26th Street. Leaving the Union Club, we followed trail down a long, long alley continuously lined with one-story industrial buildings and warehouses, until we found an "!" then a few feet away a "?" under a barred window. Looking in the window we saw a small outdoor BAR and a great ivy-walled courtyard. The bartender said we had to go around to the other side to get in! This must be beer stop #3! Attempts to slip through a narrow space between buildings or to find a way over the walls failed. Since we were about in the middle of the alley, some of us went both ways to the nearest cross street and around to front. There were no beer signs or other obvious bar indications, but eventually we all found a narrow walkway next to a building with "LSS" on it's door and made our way between buildings back to the Leather Stallion Saloon's outdoor courtyard. It was extremely neat and very clean! Clearly this was a bar that is only for those truly in the know! Leaving the LSS the pack headed off in one direction leaving only a few stragglers still in the bar searching for the Women's bathroom. The pack was comforted by the fact that a hare was in their midst even though no one was seeing any trail marks. At a distant intersection they heard the whistles of the stragglers who had been sent towards the true trail by the OTHER hare. The errant group opted to gamble with a shortcut and head back toward Moe's which was now only a few blocks away. Someone in the pack noted that H.I.R. Susanne's very-closely-cropped hairstyle looked good on her, but wouldn't look good on other more cranially-challenged hashers. Several noted that she had the perfect head for it. Head! Who said head? I'll take some that, And I did, And it was Good.... Soon they saw "On-In" on the side walk in front of Becky's, a fine college-bar meets derelict-bar on East 18th, a block east of Moes. The beer was nice and cold and came in many, many pitchers. Yum! Ceremonies were conducted by some Drunk, K.O. was the day's Beer Wench, and our former-Songmeister Lorena filled the role again. Our Hare's were honored for their shitty trail: they are hashers through and through. We welcomed our visitors from Akron's Rubber City H3. The assembled former GM's (Rear Ender Tu, K.O.,Too Drunk and Capital Queen who is a past Cowtown GM) drank to wish our current Grand Master "Squeeky Cheeks" a rapid recovery from knee surgery so he can return to hashing and jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. We welcomed "Lickety Split" to CH4 as she has moved to Cleveland from the Grand Cayman Island Hash! K.O. was honored for backsliding, and her first full trail since breaking a vertebra in early February. Killer Byte and Doobie Gillis drank for bagging Boner and AT's recent trail just after the start when a steep and otherwise impassable stream valley uncovered a previously unknown phobia. Other backsliders and other transgressors were honored until everyone had been at least once. We sent H.I.R. Susanne to a back corner of the bar and considered options for a name, of which there was a decisive winner: she is now, henceforth and forever more until we change it, "Good Head". We wished our 900-plus hash brothers and sisters in Toronto all the best as they were enjoying day two of the Hogtown H3 Inter-Americas Hash ... even if they didn't have an Air Show for it :). Announcements were made for the next Akron and Cleveland hashes. Just then an extensive variety of Becky's foods arrived and the circle was closed. Did I mention that there was a lot of yummy beer? Head! Who said head? I'll take some that! And I did. And it was Good. And there was much rejoicing. And then we fucked. We fucked for hours, uprooting trees and shrubs and flowers! Like Vikings, with horns on our head! Head! Who said head? I'll take some of that!....
Asst. Hash Cash Report: (16 hashers) - (2 hares) - (1 transferee per hares) - (2 pre-paid per hares) = (11)($10) = $110 - $99 to hares = $11 retained for treasury by Too... |
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