Grand Master: Ass Transit

Grand Mattress: Capitol Queen

Religious Advisor: Squeeky Cheeks

Hash Cash: Little Tramp

On-Sec-Hash-Flash: Squeeky Cheeks & Broken Boner

Hare Raiser and Designated Grunt: Butt Buddy

Ambassador to The Clueless: Biff Demcheck

Schpank-o-matrix: Position Open

Hash Harlott: Anal Yeast

Webmaster: Broken Boner

Songmeister: Dick Long & Prosper

Haberdasher: Cums Out Her Nose

Hash Historian: Rear Ender Tu

Beer Wench: Killer Byte